101 Ways to Torture Bayville
by silly51366507
Summary: Just some random drabbles of the annoying things that happen in Bayville, when you aren't looking... Most stories are about Rogue or Wolverine. Please, R&R. Chapter 12 UP: Rain Pineapples.
1. Give Headmaster Nightmares

**Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men Evolution, or the woodchuck song, or AFV. I have no idea who owns any of them.**

Number 1: Give Your Headmaster Nightmares

Xavier woke to a strange noise coming from the hallway. It sounded like singing. He exited the room and looked down the hall. No one was there. He turned around to see what appeared to be Logan in a beaver costume. Voices came from the closed doors. He knew that behind the doors were the students' rooms. The voices were chanting, "How much Chuck could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Chuck? How much Chuck could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Chuck?" He shivered. What on earth was going on? He turned back to the doors. Suddenly, a few giant woodchucks appeared. They chittered and started walking towards him. He backed up, and heard sudden maniacal laughter. The woodchucks chittered again and chased him down the hall. He turned a corner, and found himself back in the same hallway. The voices continued chanting, "How much Chuck could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck Chuck?" He sped back into his bedroom and jumped into his bed. "It's just a dream, it's just a dream..." he murmured to himself and fell back asleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The next morning, Xavier woke up and headed into the kitchen for breakfast. Logan smiled. "Hey, Chuck." He winced. "We're going to a woodchuck reserve today, remember? Everyone's coming along." Xavier nodded shakily. He rolled into the living room where Rogue was watching America's Funniest Home Videos. Suddenly, she started laughing. He recognized it as the laugh from last night and started screaming. He rolled down the hall and out the door.

"What's his problem?"


	2. Fight with the BHood

**I don't own these guys, or the Lion King. DEAL WITH IT!**

Number 2: Get in a Fight with the Brotherhood

Scott, Kitty, Bobby, and Kurt were at the park. They looked over to the playground where they saw the Brotherhood there- And no one else. Ususally it was swamped. Pyro held up his lighter, and suddenly a bunch of fire bunnies appeared. They chased around the few children who were at the park. Scott frowned and nodded to Kurt. He teleported them all right in front of the Brotherhood, and the bunnies disappeared. Scott shouted, "Stop torturing Bayville!"

They shook their heads. "What are you talking about? We ain't doin' nothing! It's not our fault no one is here on a SCHOOL DAY."

Bobby shouted, "That isn't true!"

Toad smiled. "Oh yeah? Prove it." And that was when total chaos broke loose.

(A/N: I know, horrible chapter. But I made up for it with an extra chapter! It's just 'cause I wanted a reference for the next chapter, coming soon to Elfy-Chan's wonderland theatre! Not really, just on a musical kick. "I can't wait.... To be king!"

Also, please check out the story written by me and Artemi99 on her account, called The Chronocles of the Angel and the Moon. I may have spelled that wrong...

You can also submit ideas for this story, if you want. :D)


	3. Listen to Jean's Lecture

**Jean grounded the disclaimer saying I don't own X-Men Evolution.**

Number 3: Have the Students Listen to Jean's Lectures

Jean stood before the students. The Professor had told her that she should give a lecture about their fights with the Brotherhood. She had also detected something in his voice, but payed no attention. "Alright, I know you have been fighting with the Brotherhood lately. But why exactly?"

Bobby shouted out, "Becuase you trained us to!"

Jean shook her head. "But only when they're doing something wrong. I mean, it's not exactly a good a thing to do in public. You demolished the park yesterday!" She scanned the students. Everyone but Rogue and Kurt were there; they were out buying groceries. "I know you don't like each other, but violence isn't the answer! Don't you want to stay in one piece? Kurt came back yesterday with bruises and cuts everywhere. And his inducer was broken!" When she looked up from staring at the podium, she saw that most of the students were asleep. Small buckets of water fell on their heads. "Don't sleep during my lectures!" she shouted angrily. They stared at her as she continued. Logan, Rogue, and Kurt walked in and sat down. They looked exaughsted and beaten, even Logan. "The fact is, you shouldn't get into fights with the Brotherhood. You're just going to cause chaos and problems for everyone." She noticed that the trio was asleep. She poured water on their heads, but they did not awake. "Wake up!" she shouted. They didn't get up. Jean sighed. Then she saw that everyone else was asleep. She screamed and ran out of the room in frustration.


	4. Lose a Bet

**Logan bet and lost the disclaimer saying I don't own these X-Men Evolution characters.**

Number 4: Lose a Bet

Rogue walked down the hallway with Wolverine. "Told you I could do the level 10 Danger Room session. Now, let me go consult my book of torture." she said with a laughed and raced upstairs. "So, let's see. Halloween, Summer, Hannukah... Ah, here it is! Christmas." She grinned evily. "This is gonna be five types of fun."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Logan groaned. "Do I really have to do this?" He was wearing a reindeer suit, with a little tail and everything. He also dawned fake antlers that Rogue had bought from the dollar store. She had also painted his nose red. A bright, bright red. He hated it. Rogue had tied a few strings to him, and the other ends of the strings were tied to a giant sled, like you saw at a Christmas display. Logan didn't even _want_ to knowwhere she got it from. Two ropes were tied to his ears, and Rogue held them like reigns.

She was wearing a red Santa-robe, with an elf hat that jingled. She turned to Kurt, Scott, Bobby, and Jean. They had also bet that she couldn't do the level 10 simulation so, as a result, she made them dress up like elves. Rogue gestured and, reluctantly, Kurt and Scott got in the front with her, while Jean and Bobby climbed in the back.

Rogue nodded. "Let's get started!" Kurt sighed and teleported them to the park. It was a hot summer day. She turned to Bobby. He held up his hands, and soon all of Bayville was covered in snow- And it was snowing, too! Rogue cast a smiling glare at Jean, then turned and lashed the reigns. Logan started running, very reluctantly. Jean held her hands up to her temples, and soon the sleigh was flying through the sky over Bayville.

Rogue opened up a bag she had stashed away and looked inside, revealing many boxes, wrapped neatly for the Christmas in August. She pulled out two and dropped them; One hit Principal Kelly on the head, and the other, hit his car.

He looked up and shouted, "It's mutants!" Kelly ran down the road screaming, "Mutants! They're out to destroy me!"

"What are in the boxes?" exclaimed Kurt.

Rogue cast him an evil glare. "Boulders." She dropped another one, and it smashed into the Brotherhood house, leaving a hole in their room. "Merry Christmas!" she cackled. "Faster, Rudolph!"

**A/N: I actually dreamed this up. Don't you wonder, why is Rogue acting so wierd? BTW, I'm sick, so I have a lot of time to write and upload. Pitch some ideas, please! R&R!**


	5. Pull a Prank on Wolverine

**A/N: First of all, guys, I am SUPER MEGA SORRY that I haven't uploaded sooner. My life's been busy, so I'm uploading all of my stories while I'm on a train. **

**Sabretooth ate the disclaimer saying I don't own X-Men Evolution or its characters.**

Number 5: Pull a Prank on Wolverine

Rogue sat in the bushes, with Sabretooth sitting next to her. They each held cards in their hands, and a combonation of dollars, coins, and Sabretooth's credit card sat in a pile inbetween them. Sabretooth smirked. "Full House!" He threw down his hand.

Rogue grinned evily and threw down her hand. "Royal Flush!"

His mouth dropped open and she took the pile, putting it in a light green bag. He frowned. "You're as bad as Gambit- No, probably worse!" Suddenly, he jumped up and peered out of the bush. "He's here!" Rogue got up and stood next to him, holding the bag. They each watched Logan hop on his motorcycle, wearing no helmet. He inserted the key and turned it on. He turned the handle bar, and it made a rrrrvvvvving noise. Putting his other leg up onto the bike, he sped forwards. Rogue and Sabretooth headed for their motorcycles, and Rogue pulled out a video camera. She turned it on and sped after Logan. Sabretooth was just behind her, and they caught up, each on different sides of him. He glared at Sabretooth and looked at Rogue, curiousness and suspicion showing in his eyes.

"Stripes, why do you have a video cam-" He was cut off when he went blasting forwards, driving into, over, and onto a few cars. He started screaming, and both Rogue and Sabretooth were laughing. As they approached the toll, he sped through the (literally) gate and they followed, still filming. Logan tried to turn the bike off, but couldn't get his hand off the handlebars. Suddenly, he slammed into a huge maple tree and blacked out.

. . .

When he came to, his hands were still on the handlebars and Rogue, still with the video camera, and Sabretooth stood over him. They were laughing hysterically. "How did you-" he started, but Sabretooth cut him off. "Super glue on the handlebars, jet fuel instead of diesel gas!" Logan got up, and his claws came out with a SNIKT. Rogue raced off and jumped onto the bike, waving before turning off the camera and driving away. Sabretooth simply dumped a bucket of what appeared to be black paint on him, and followed Rogue. Logan couldn't move for two reasons. He was still attached to the handlebars, and he was stuck. Totally, utterly, completely stuck. Then he took a breath. _Wait a second_ he thought to himself. _It's not paint, it's tar.... _He mentally screamed as he heard police sirens in the distance.


	6. Pose as Rogue

**Mystique posed as the disclaimer saying I don't own these characters, then ran off.**

Number 6: Pose as Rogue

(A/N: Please note, I wrote this in the dead of night while high on caffine. You have been WARNED. "Oh, I just can't wait to be king....!")

Logan was growling when he entered the Institute. After the 'incident' the day before, he had been arrested, covered in glue, yelled at, and, most importantly, confused as to what was happening to Rogue. A frown stuck on his face, he spotted her walking down the hallway. She was frowning as well. He stepped in front of her, and she stopped with an, "Eeep!" He snarled, "What was with that, Stripes?"

She around and nervously said, "I-I don't know what you're talking about," she murmured.

His claws came out, waving in front of her face. "I'm talking about yesterday!" She stood there, then shouted, "You'll never take me alive, Coppers!" and raced off down the hall. Logan stood there with a 'I'm-confused-yet-I'm-too-much-of-a-dolt-to-go-after-her' look on his face. "Um...?"

* * *

Jean walked down the hall, when she heard a banging. "What on earth could that be?" she wondered aloud. It seemed to be coming from the storage closet. Racing over, she opened the door and put her hand to her head, ready to fight whoever or whatever was in there. But instead she found Rogue tied to a chair, a gag tied around her mouth and a 'I'm-gonna-beat-the-heck-out-of-whoever-did-this' look on her face. "Rogue!" Jean exclaimed and raced over, untying her. "What happened?" Rogue grumbled to herself a bit, gave Jean a 'thanks-but-I-still-hate-you' glare, and walked out of the closet, closing the door behind her. Jean blinked and put her hand on the doorknob and twisted it, expecting it to open. Instead, it turned a bit then refused to move. A look of horror formed on Jean's face. "I'm locked in!"

* * *

The real Rogue bumped into fake Rogue. They stared at each other for a moment. Then one Rogue jumped at the other, and they fought. Kitty walked down the hall, singing, "I just can't wait to be King..." She stopped when she saw Rogue fighting someone exactly like her. She raced forwards, and they stopped fighting, the one with purple lipstick on top of the blue one. Kitty stared for a moment, then they resumed fighting. "Um..." she stood there with a confused look on her face.

Scott and Bobby walked down the hall. "Hey Kitty, have you seen-" Scott broke off as he saw the two fighting. It only took a matter of minutes for there to be a huge crowd assembled, watching the tussling. Finally, Scott snapped out of his trance and rushed forwards. "Stop you two!" They stopped, this time the blue on top of the purple. He held his hands up to his glasses. The two Rogues glanced at each other, assessing the situation. Scott commanded, "Now get off each other and stand up." Both compliantly did so.

"You do realized I could just drain you and blast this _imposter_ to bits?" the purple-lipstick one spat.

Scott stood there for a moment, then realized the answer. "Then do it." Blue-lipstick looked up from the ground, where she had just been staring.

"What?"

"You heard me. The Rogue who touches me and causes me to be knocked out is the real Rogue." The blue-lipstick one paled, but the purple lipstick one nodded.

"Alright." She pulled off her glove, and the blue-lipstick lept at her. Purple dodged to the side and touched Scott for a seconds. He passed out and the real Rogue grinned.

The imposter gulped and shape-shifted back to Mystique. "Darn you Cyclops**(1)**!" she spat as Rogue chased her out of the room, shooting eye-lasers as she went. "Just because I posed as you since Xavier's nightmare doesn't mean you have to hurt me! OW!" you could hear Mystique shout down the hall.

Kitty blinked. "I actually knew which one was real, but I never said a thing. It was an amazing fight."

Kurt also blinked. "How did you know?"

Kitty said with a smirk, "Rogue would _never_ wear that color lipstick."

**(1) You didn't REALLY think Rogue would have been acting like this, would you?**


	7. Tick off Rogue

**Rogue was ticked off by the disclaimer saying I don't own any of the X-Men Evolution characters, so she got Gambit to blow it up. Sorry.**

Number 7: Tick off Rogue

Rogue sat in her room, reading a random book she had gotten off the shelves of the library. It was pretty good, a romantic horror-type thing. She had just gotten to the good part when Kitty opened the door. "Have you, like, seen my new sweater?" she asked hurriedly.

Rogue sighed. "Kitty, you're wearing it."

She looked down. "Oh. Like, thanks Rogue!" Rogue's roommate ran out the door. Rogue continued reading her book, intense on the author's mystifying words. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

She sighed again. "Come in!"

Remy walked through the door. "Hello, _cherie._"

Rogue frowned. "What do you want Gambit?"

Remy closed the door and looked around hurriedly. "Can Remy hide in your room?"

Suddenly, she heard a yell down the hall. "GAMBIT!" she heard Logan scream.

"Remy _might_ have blown Wolvie's motorcycle up."

Rogue locked eyes with him. "No, you cannot. Now leave me alone." He sighed, walked over to the window, and jumped out of it. She continued reading her book when Logan opened the door.

"Seen Gambit?" he asked. She nodded and pointed to the window. Logan rushed over.

"I'm getting you Gambit!" he shouted and jumped out the window. Rogue wrote on a sheet of paper, "DO NOT DISTURB," and taped it to the door. She sat down on the bed and continued reading. The door swung open and Rogue looked up to see Jean standing there.  
"Jean... First, your supposed to knock, and second, did you not notice the 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign?"

Jean ignored her. "Dinner in an hour." Rogue stared at her. "So you come up an hour before to tell me we're having dinner at the EXACT SAME TIME WE ALWAYS HAVE IT AT?"

Jean nodded and said with mock cheerfullness, "Yep!" Rogue whipped off her glove and held Jean's hand for a few seconds, and Jean fainted. She put Jean on her bed, closed the door, and walked downstairs. Hopefully no one would notice.


	8. Tick of Wolverine

**Wolverine shredded the disclaimer saying that I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS.**

Number 8: Tick off Wolverine

Wolverine walked into the garage. When he looked at his motorcycle, he saw that it was destroyed completely. The wheels were busted, the rest was covered in dents and scratches, and the thing looked like a pile of scrap metal. He looked down to see a Two of Clubs lying on the ground. He shouted at the top of his lungs, "GAMBIT!" Racing out the hall he followed Remy's scent until he reached Rogue's room. He opened the door. "Seen Gambit?" he asked. She pointed to the window and nodded. Wolverine raced over and shouted, "I'm getting you Gambit!" He jumped out the window and followed Remy, who was running as fast as he could. Wolverine's claws came out with a _SNIKT._ He sped forwards and caught up to Remy, cornering him. He heard the cajun gulp.

"In Remy's defense, he was trying to make sure some of the students didn't paint it pink."

Logan frowned and said mock-sweetly, "Well, in that case, here's your reward." He grabbed Gambit's collar and pulled him to the Danger Room. "Level 15 simulation- Twice!" he shouted and closed the door.

**Here's a really short chapter I wrote in the dead of night. So there!**


	9. Play Cards Against Rogue

**Gambit stole the disclaimer saying I don't own these characters at all.**

Number 9: Play Cards Against Rogue

Remy sat at the street corner, a table set up with a stack of cards on the edge. He picked them up and started playing with them. A young boy walked up to him. "I'll play!"

Remy smiled. "Alright. Starting bet is one dollar." He put the dollar on the table, and the boy did so as well. Remy dealed the cards, expertly shuffled, and looked at his. With a sad expression plastered on his face, he also appeared to be deep in thought. The boy smiled and threw in two more dollars. Remy threw in two of his own, and the boy smiled. He dealed a five dollar into the pile, and the Cajun responded with a ten. It took only a few minutes for a pile of at least $50.00 sitting there.

The boy threw down his hand. "One pair, Jacks high!"

Remy frowned and dealed his hand. "One pair... Queens high!"

The boys jaw dropped and Remy collected the money. "But-but-but..." he stuttered.

Remy tutted, "No buts." The boy turned around and walked off, murmuring something about dirty Cajuns and Vegas. Looking around for another player, Remy looked down the road and spotted his _cherie._ He flashed her a smile and flicked the cards from one hand to the other.

"Hey Gambit. What'cha doing?"

A grin still plastered on his face, he said charmingly, "I'm playin' poker 'gainst anyone who thinks they can beat the Rajun' Cajun." Rogue tried to hold back her laughter unsuccessfully.

"I'll play ya."

His grin grew wider. "Excellent." He dealed out the cards, and Rogue peeked at hers.

"How 'bout this. We each bet all the money we have, winner gets it all?" Remy smiled increased until he could no longer stretch it any more. He pulled out a bag and dropped out about $200 onto the table. Rogue smirked and pulled out a wad of bills. She dropped them on the table, her gloved hand brushing his un-gloved hand. The wind blew, and the money flew off the table. In an attempt to rescue it, he got covered in mud but rescued his precious money. The Goth started laughing. "You look a rat that was just dragged out of a swamp! Hey, I like that nickname. Swamp Rat."

Remy threw his hand of cards down just as she finished the sentence. "Full house."

Rogue smirked once more and threw down her hand. "Royal flush."

Remy blinked in amazement as she collected the money. "What-how-?" he stuttered.

"I just got skills, Swamp Rat!" the X-Woman said and raced off to get to her Danger Room session.


	10. Put Up Signs

**Another short chapter. Hey, they're drabbles!**

**Wolverine beat up Gambit with a sign saying I don't own X-Men Evolution.  
**

Number 10: Put up Signs

Wolverine opened his bedroom door after his long rest to find a bunch of green, red, and yellow signs in the hallway. He looked around. "Um... What happened?"

Gambit popped up from around the corner. "Directions! They're signs warning what's going on where, like when Kitty's cooking or when someone's in the Danger Room. Don't worry, there won't be any inappropriate signs." He disapeared, and Wolverine headed for the kitchen to get some breakfast, where he noticed a sign that said, "15 kids inside." Suddenly, they all raced out of the room and he blinked. But Wolverine continued into the kitchen. Grabbing a cup of coffee and a bagel, he noticed another sign. It said, "Wolverine arrives at: 7:50."

He growled. "GAMBIT!"

**See, I had no idea what to do for a new chapter. So I asked Artemi99. She said, "Yellow signs!" And thus, this chapter was born.**


	11. Rogue and Remy FIGHT!

**Please note, this is the worst chapter in all of history. So there!  
**

**Remy threw the disclaimer saying I don't own X-Men Evolution into a pot of Rogue's chili.**

Number 11: Rogue and Remy FIGHT?!?!?!?

Rogue and Remy walked into the kitchen. Usually they were arguing, or at least looking at each other. But for once, Remy ignored Rogue. "What's up with you two?" Kitty whispered to Rogue, but she was ignored.

* * * * * * * * *

By mid-afternoon, people were so curious as to ask the fighting couple what was going on. Nothing. They were either ignored or yelled at. Finally, Logan stormed up to Rogue and Remy and shouted,

"Why are you two fighting?" He didn't want them to stop, he just wanted everyone else to stop making such a fuss.

Gambit insisted, "She put too much pepper into the chili!"

Rogue frowned and responded, "No, I didn't! I only put in a little when you YANKED THE POT AWAY FROM ME."

The cajun stood up and shouted, "That's because you put three Malipeno **(1)** peppers in!" Everyone's jaw dropped. They were arguing about CHILI?

"I said Jalapeno peppers!" Rogue yelled back. Remy froze.

"Really?"

Rogue nodded. "YES! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYIN'!"

Gambit gulped, "Remy is sorry _cherie._ He thought you said..."

Rogue sighed, cutting him off. "Why don't we just go re-make the chili?" Remy nodded and they sped out of the room, leaving everyone confused.

**(1) There are no such things as Malipeno Peppers (At least I hope). I needed a super-spicey pepper that sounds like the word Jalapeno. Thanks for reading! R&R**


	12. Rain Pineapples

**It rained on the disclaimer saying I don't own X-Men Evolution and it evaporated....**

**A/N: I wrote this while I was sick, so forgive me if it's insane.**

Number 12: Rain Pineapples

Rogue stumbled out of the X-Jet, holding her head. "Why did we have to go?!?!? 'It would be easy' you said. 'Nothing would happen' you said. 'The mutant was harmless, all they could do was instantly grow any type of plant' you said. Now I have Storm and that other mutant's psyche's in mah head!" she yelled at Logan.

He growled, holding Storm in his arms. "Well, if you hadn't walked into that plant-"

Rogue glared at him, and walked off. "I'm gonna go annoy someone."

* * * * * * * * *

Pietro sat in the living room. Lance was banging on the TV. "TV's out."

Pietro shouted, "I blame the internet!"

Lance blinked and looked out the window. "It's raining pineapples."

The speedster repeated, "I blame the internet**(2**)!"

Pyro raced into the room. "It's raining pineapples? They have come to invade!" He screamed and raced outside, blowing flames at the pineapples. Lance looked into the sky, where he saw a brief shot of a black and green uniform. He blinked again.

"Pie, it's Rogue."

Pietro blinked as well. "Woah. Go Rogue!" They ran out, watching the pineapples pop into the sky and land on the ground. Pyro was laying on the ground now, huddled up and sucking his thumb.

"He'll get over it eventually." Avalanche said with a wave of his hand, and walked back inside. Pietro followed. From the sky, Rogue laughed hysterically, it echoing in every direction...

**(2) This actually happened between me and Artemi99 during one of our sleepovers. She said Lance's lines, and I said Pietro's. Then we burst out laughing. The TV WAS broken, cuz the bulb in it was out. Darn you, lightbulbs!**


End file.
